My Story

This is a talk I gave at Grace Place Youth (GPY) Night in Berthoud, Colorado, on Sunday, May 17, 2026. It is very personal to me. I hope you find value and comfort from it. Enjoy!

I have so many stories to tell. Some sad, some funny, some really weird. Maybe it’s because I’m old, or maybe I’ve had an eventful life. I don't know. But which stories I choose to tell depends on when you ask me. 

If you had asked me last year, I would have told you how awful it was to lose my mom. Believe it or not, there will be a time when you will realize your parents are irreplaceable. If you had asked me five years ago, I would have focused on my rocky relationship with my father. He can be really difficult to get along with, and we’ve rarely seen eye to eye. But the beauty of that story is the redemptive arc at the end. I’ve been blessed with some extra years with him, and we’ve reconciled quite a lot.   

So, what’s my story today? Well, it’s actually a collection of smaller, but no less impactful, stories. As we walk through my stories, you might notice a theme. See if you can figure it out.

In 1992, my sister, Susan, was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, commonly known as MS. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a devastating illness where your body essentially attacks itself. I remember standing in our kitchen, watching her drop and shatter a glass as it hit the floor. As a young college student, I was shocked and confused. When she received her diagnosis, it was both the answer she was seeking and what she dreaded to hear. “Where was God in all of that?” I asked repeatedly. Honestly, the whole thing made no sense to me at all.

How did that affect my family and me? Well, for starters, it sucked. However, two weeks later, I was waiting for a friend at a busy bus station when I noticed a pamphlet sitting on the last open chair. I picked it up and noticed it advertised something I’d never heard of called the MS 150, a two-day bike ride that covers 150 miles and raises money for MS research. 

I was hooked! But there was one problem: I didn’t own a bike. So, I bought one, trained as much as I could, and finished the ride that August. I have since done about 20 of those rides, and I’m not stopping anytime soon. My sister’s painful diagnosis plus a pamphlet placed by God (I’m certain of that), is how I became a cyclist.

James 1:2-4 tells us: “Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” 

In 1997, I was living in Rochester, MN. I had just gotten married, and a few months later, my wife’s dear friend, Sarah, died from cancer. She was such an amazing woman that we named our daughter after her. Four years later, my friend, Gregg, was in the best shape of his life, training for Ironman triathlons. Out of the blue, he felt numbness in his hands. At first, he attributed it to his long bike rides. But whatever was happening in his brain progressed quickly, and he died eight months later. Sarah and Gregg were phenomenal people. Again I asked, “Where are you, God? Did you fall asleep at the wheel or what?” Surely, he must be cruel and distant.

Oddly enough, we responded by moving to Colorado. We had considered it before, but it took the deaths of two close friends for us to realize life is short and there’s no better time than the present. So, that’s why we live here, one of the best decisions we ever made.

Are you picking up on a theme here? From all the stories you have heard across the last few months from all of your fabulous mentors, the inevitable question you may ask is: why do such bad things happen to such good people? We’ve all been through a lot, but why? Why did we have to suffer?

Romans 5:3-5 tells us: “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” You see, a wise friend once told me not everything happens for a reason (at least one that we can comprehend), rather God makes reasoning for everything that happens.

In 2012, my father-in-law passed away. He was a wonderful man who was a great storyteller. He lived a long and eventful life, but I still missed the guy. So to honor him and document his stories before I forgot them, I started writing them down. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing, but I wrote anyway. I quickly realized I could weave his stories together into a larger story. So, I did. And that became my first novel. The death of my father-in-law is how I became a writer. 

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t believe I was a writer (and still really don’t) as I quit a few times thinking I was in way over my head. But God believed in me, and sometimes that’s all that matters.

Hebrews 10:35-36 reminds us: “So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised.”

My last story goes back the furthest and is also the most complicated and impactful. It explains how I became a counselor. Going back a long way, I have experienced some trauma in my life. When I was very young, I was almost drowned in a lake by an older kid I didn’t even know. His strong hands kept me underwater much longer than I could handle. It freaked me out, as it took years before I swam again. 

Jumping ahead many years, I witnessed a horrific accident involving an ambulance that flipped over right in front of my car. Even now, I get awful flashbacks whenever I see emergency vehicles. 

Jumping ahead again, I witnessed an older woman die by suicide. It was at a hotel in Fort Collins, and I can still tell you everything about that moment, from where I sat to what she wore. My heart literally races when I get even close to that building. Even thinking about it now strikes me with panic. I’m familiar with trauma.

There’s another part of me you should know: I have a severe hearing loss. We’re talking really bad. I’ve worn aids since high school, and while they help some, I still miss a lot of conversations, especially in groups or loud places. Sometimes, I hate that part of me. But there’s a beautiful upside to having bad hearing: I’m a really good listener. Partly because I have to, but now it’s because I want to.

So trauma plus a God-given ability to listen plus some awful events at my other job that forced me to look for something else - that is how I became a counselor. God had been trying to get my attention for a long, long time. What started out as gentle nudging 8-10 years ago became bonks over the head that hurt a lot. But he finally got my attention, and I finally became who he wanted me to become.

John 9 tells us the story of Jesus healing a man who had been blind his entire life. “As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. “Rabbi,” his disciples asked him, “why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins or his parents’ sins?” “It was not because of his sins or his parents’ sins,” Jesus answered. “This happened so the power of God could be seen in him. We must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us by the one who sent us. The night is coming, and then no one can work. But while I am here in the world, I am the light of the world.” Then he spit on the ground, made mud with the saliva, and spread the mud over the blind man’s eyes. He told him, “Go wash yourself in the pool of Siloam.” So the man went and washed and came back seeing!”

Think about that: he was born blind so the power of God could be seen in him. Let’s be honest, this is an amazing story only because we know the ending. I honestly don’t think the guy thought he was part of a great story for the first 20-30 years of his life. Actually, he probably asked, “Why me? Where are you, God?” But he’s finally given the answer after all those years, and little did he know, God was with him the entire time.

So, when we ask why bad things happen to good people, I would ask you to consider two things: what is meant by “bad” things, and what is meant by “good” people? Every bad thing I have experienced in my life has had good come from it. My life is riddled with events that initially were awful but in the long run became something beautiful. 

And the good results never came from God’s booming voice out of the clouds instructing me what to do. If you’re waiting for that, you might be waiting a while. They came from events that nudged and encouraged me to do what he wanted. You see, “life does not happen to us but for us.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not minimizing the pain that comes from bad things. Believe me, the ones I've mentioned involved rivers of tears. And they’re not all wrapped up in a bow either - they are all works in progress. But in the big picture, bad things are not always what you think they are.

So, who are “good” people? We shouldn’t fool ourselves into thinking we are good enough to avoid pain. The thing is, we are all in need of a savior. Romans 3:23-24 reminds us: “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

That brings us to the ultimate example of why bad things happen to good people: the life of Jesus. The only truly innocent person who ever lived experienced a ton of suffering: betrayal, injustice, abandonment, and ultimately the cross. If we say “bad things should NOT happen to good people,” then the cross makes no sense at all. And yet, it is the centerpiece of God’s plan.

Isaiah 53:5-6 says: “But he was pierced for our rebellion, crushed for our sins. He was beaten so we could be whole. He was whipped so we could be healed. All of us, like sheep, have strayed away. We have left God’s paths to follow our own. Yet the Lord laid on him the sins of us all.”

Suffering is not proof that God is absent or unjust. In fact, the cross shows the exact opposite. God is always present in our suffering, he understands our pain because he suffered it himself. He knows exactly what we’re going through, and he’s there for us the entire time, regardless of how much we may push him away or question his presence.

So, what’s the answer? Why do bad things happen to good people? So we can learn and grow and thrive. So we can become cyclists, authors, counselors, or whoever God has planned for us to be. So we can witness the power of God, and so we can grasp our desperate need for a savior who loves and cares for us.

And that’s what I wish for you guys. Not for bad things to happen to you, but for you to find opportunities in your lives to learn and grow and thrive. It’s not going to be easy, but that’s kind of the point. Those difficult events just might be calls to action, gifts from your Heavenly Father to become who he wants you to become. 

And, believe me, you won’t do it alone. Your mentors are there for you. Your friends and family are beside you. And God is with you. Yes, even when bad things happen. Allow him to help you learn and grow from your suffering. Then, you’ll be able to tell your story. And man, it’ll be something beautiful.